F***ing Foxtel

There is so much to this story, where do I begin…….

We rented a brand new home. Never been lived in. When we start to get settled we find out there isn’t an arial antenna on the roof. Apparently this comes standard on all homes in Brisbane so you can get 26 channels for free. So we call the realtor to see if the home owner can get one installed. Nope. The home owner doesn’t want to pay for it so the realtor offers to go to the hardware store to get some “bunny ears” for our brand new smart tv…….sigh…..
We tell her no, that won’t be needed. We’ll just call Foxtel and have cable installed.

We call Foxtel and they send a contractor out 5 days later. Oh, what’s that you say?? This brand new home wasn’t wired for cable?? Really?? SHOCKING. So the contractor says that the only way we can get tv is through satellite or have the cable strung from the pole down the street to the house. Fine

We call Foxtel and tell them that we need to get satellite because the house isn’t wired for cable. We figured getting satellite would be easier than stringing cable from down the street. Plus they told us it would take a month to get the cable strung. They send a contractor out 6 days later. He shows up and takes one look at the house and says a safety regulation (don’t even get me started on their freaking safety regulations) was passed a couple months back that they are not allowed to use a ladder more than two stories tall. Our house is apparently three stories tall, but really only has two stories. So the contractor says that they’ll have to get a cherry picker out here to get the satellite on the roof and that may take a month.

We call Foxtel and tell them the story. So they send a “supervisor” out to survey the property 2 days later. Yup, too tall, gonna need a cherry picker to get a satellite on the roof. Thanks, mr. Obvious.

We call Foxtel and tell them that we need to have the cable strung to our house from the pole or get satellite. They send out a contractor. Finally a contractor that knows what he is doing. He was able to string the cable wire to our house via the pits underground. Finally! BUT…he only got the cable to the house. The cable was still not installed into the home to the tv. He said we need to call an electrician.

We call Foxtel and they say that they can do the work. In the mean time, Bryce had called Foxtel everyday, since the beginning, checking on our “tv” status and telling our story to the desk jockey that answers the phone. Every time the guy or gal on the other line says ” I’m sorry sir, you are speaking to the wrong department.” right after he got done telling the whole story!!!

We call Foxtel and set up a time for them to come out and run the cable into the house. They said it’ll take 4 days. They call me TWICE the day before confirming they are coming to install the cable into the house. I made sure they knew the deal…….we need the cable installed into the house, which means you’ll have to drill holes into the wall….yes ma’am, we are prepared to come to your house tomorrow between 10 and 2 to run the cable into your house, no worries.

A Foxtel contractor shows up today………Hi, ma’am, we’re here to install a satellite on your roof……………………..

Warning: the following is for mature audiences only.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I text Bryce, get your fucking ass home NOW!

Bryce shows up. He calls Foxtel and is screaming his head off for 20 minutes straight. No lie. They say, I’m sorry sir, you need to speak to another department…….

Bryce told the contractor currently at the house, I’ll pay you $50.00 to get the tv working. I don’t care if you pull a wire out of your ass or from your dads ass next to you. I don’t care if you have to throw the satellite on the roof just get me fucking tv, cable, satellite, WHATEVER! Just do it NOW or you’re not leaving. Period.

We have a satellite on our roof now and I’m currently watching Gold Rush.


2 responses to “F***ing Foxtel

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